Penning lost feelings

Greetings fellow earthlings!!!

well waiting for my anime to load... dammit this server.. bleeuughhh...

now that i dont have alot of people reading this i can finally pen down or in this case type down what's been going on these few days.. i've been thinking of alot things especially relatinship wise.. so this is whats bugging me..

i read Xian Wee's blog and i do feel upset too.. i just cant seem to get why im feeling this way? deep down inside i know i somewhat dont like jerome.. because he doesnt meet a height criteria? i dont know.. but still...

The Day Lit Wen Left:
just recently we had this awesome celebration.. i stayed up all night just to practice a song for lit wen and even went to personally write down the lyrics and print them out.. then saturday came and we had super great fun smacking each others' head and making last memories of it.. taking photos was the only way of campturing the momment, so we piled up like we used to creating a P4 Pyramid and boy did we change.. since we were younger... after which we went to NihonMura! the food (sushi) was great, times have changed and i was glad my whole platoon made it.. even Jackie who was missing and skipping meets... so we had wasabi shots and soon lit wen had to go back to M'sia..

Tuesday night: after school, i went to meet my sister whom wanted to walk home with me, however things somehow just fit in and i went to booklink to get a nice scrapbook and double sided tape.. then my sister help me put the 126 photos i chose into powerpoint so that we could print them out nicely... this was all around.. 345? then as we arraged the photos it was close to 5!! so we quickly sent them for printing.. not bad.. 8.40 for 20pieces of colour prints :) then we walked home.. after that, i quickly got into serious mode and started cutting the photos and arranging them so as to form a story and some memories here and there. so this lasted till... 4am? the double sided tape was.. really really irritating and just pissing me off... however! i pressed On!! and found that if i practice or did something long enough, i would find my own way of making my life easier! GOOD JOB ASHER! (brains) :D

so wednesday, i met up with warren and went to City square.. this is the part where i swear i wasnt lying to wee wee.. :(

well.. on the bus 950, warren and i sat down.. then i saw this CHR boy walking in so i got quite excited and gestured to warren.. then i saw this ADORABLE kid walking in.. here's my description:

she had long soft hair, really white, her facial features were gentle and she wore specs, she was a little petit and small built kinda skinny but i just looked at her back throughout the trip.. they way she spoke to her brother was so gentle i was like.. COMMERE~!! *squeeze!! but her brother like nvr really respond.. she still kept talking to him with that small soft cute voice... AHHH!!!! goodness.. she was sooo cute! i think i have something for small innocent cute gentle girls.. maybe that's why i like em... maybe cuz they won't hurt me.. hmmm...

warren and reach the custom but i wanted to follow that lil girl but the white card restrained my from my long legged agility forcing myself to demise on that ridiculous declarations. immediately after we touched down, we went to catch a movie! we watched, predators.. and honestly.. it wasnt that fantastic.. kinda retard... oh well.. later on, the duo ventured to char chan teng for dinner and boy was it GOOD.. given a chance i would bring anybody who wants to go msia first meal to be there.. later on, warren got a text and we went down.. and that stupid midget just wanted to walk out without paying.. MORON! lit wen came... and HE WAS DRVING BABY!!!
its a whole different sensation when you see your OWN buddy driving.. it was so coool!! like i can just fall down and scream! my face was like those smiley icons you would see... wide as ever! then we toured around the place.. driving around was really awesome because we got to take nice pictures and talk about everything.. jackie even called! hahahahah! then we stayed over at his place (damn those blood sucking bitches) i could hear them buzz all night... when we woke... warrens sock was missing! hahahahahah! and lit wens mommy gave us some homegrown bananas! honestly i was afraid.. but what can this kampung boy be afraid of some homegrwon banana? i ate like.. wild berries in forest and all kinda muck.. why not this? well.. i think RP is just too pampering.. :( *sulks...

then we drove to the airport... during this time.. we took pictures and i gave that special red book to lit wen over breakfast.. thanks Uncle Lok for buying us breakfast :D lit wen then showed us this stack of ruppees that was prolly worht a few thousand Singapore dollars.. whoa! lit wens dad then gave 1000ruppees to warren and i to look up close.. SUPER COOL! i honestly thought at first we could keep it.. LOL!

then we went to check in their luggage and went to the departure hall.. we couldnt enter the security so before lit wen could walk away i grabbed him and said: can we pray? so like always.. we huddled up with Mummy lok too.. ( why am i teary now...) and i said a few words and held lit wen tight.. after i prayed.. Amen.. our heads lifted... i saw warren drenched trying to hold back his cry.. he was using every muscle to control his eyes.. my heart wrenched and squirmed.. but i could not cry... so i quickly hugged that white blob and then daddy mommy and warren joined in... it was soo touchy...;(

well.. after that we said goodbye.. warren still sucking it up.. trying to be a man.. mommy lok took us in her car and drove us back.. she en routed wrongly and ended up showing us many cool places.. we say benga bay and she even told us about stories of how the place was like. the thing i rmb the most was when she told us when wen was younger.. :( he had this mechanical eraser but some kid took it... then litwens dad was so angry he went to school... litwen dare not say anything and when he asked the boy: WHY U TAKE WEN"S ERASER? boy: I NEVER!
LitWen's DAD : WHEN U GOING TO RETURN?!!?
Boy: tommorow.....

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!


we've been hearing from him.. but my week was really messed up because when someone so close to u just goes of for 5years... its just.... heartbreaking...

right now.. i'm asking God and myself.. why cant I get a girlfriend? someone i can share all these to, and just spend my other part of my life.. honestly i long to hug her... and im here thinking..how can i miss someone so much that i havent even met? sighh... suck it up*

ive always pictured that someone to be small, gentle, soft, innocent  and adorable where i can never get angry at.. never cheat on.. and never let go...



well.. its a long one... previously.. Regina was messing with me... so that i do not want to write about...


Heart: Xian wee.. i'm sorry.. i dont want to hurt you.. i am not angry at you at all.. i just feel i should keep my distance now because i feel awkward? betrayed? lost? all those times we used to have fun together with the rest of the group.. we just seem special.. don't get me wrong.. i cant picture myself being with her.. just not right.. i'm not happy for her neither am i upset... i read something that love has to be sacrificial.. if u love a person to change to a better person for themselves.. that's is something that the power of love can do...


ooh! my anime is done :)


beep beep* Earthlings :)

When we were Kids

                                                   now that we are BIGGER kids <3 each other