Coming out of hiding

Hey dear.. I really miss you.. When I look at my phone I'm always hoping to find you online and there's a message from you.. I'm waiting for you now.. Gona hit midnight soon.. And I'm texting you slower so you have more time with your friends :)

I wonder how things have been for you.. I'm not as close as we used to be.. I wish that we could've had more time to bond instead I'm studying my ass off to become a pilot.. Hope you're having fun.. At the same time.. I hope you're missing me as much as I am.. And that you'll always be there for me.. Just as I am :)

Ily

Weaknesses

I lack in strength.. Confidence.. Assurance.. Encouragement.. Security and fighting spirit.

When I am taking this path.. I am soo afraid of failure.. So afraid of difficulties.. I need to have the spirit to fight on.. The will to take on te challenges I have to face.. Things that I want will never be easy to get..

I've been too broken.. Shattered and torn that I have nothing to give.. But a tattered heart.. I'm not just giving it to anyone.. I'm giving it to someone who can help me fix it.. With care and lots of love.. It will take alot of time.. Alot if trust.. I'm afraid it'll be torn again so sometimes I pull it back.. I retract it from her.. I'm sorry..

I guess the only thing I can do now is to have the spirit to press on.. To depend on my own strength.. Fix everything and carry on everyday like its normal.. That way.. She'll be happy.. I'll be less caring towards here. Cold even.. But that's the only way I can figure out

Time

I've finally the time to just relax and pen down my feelings.. It's really great out here.. Just that I miss home.. I learned not to put your hopes soo high on someone.. Because its really easy to get disappointed.. When you don't get what you expect.. Things turn out badly.. God says to those who a weary to come to him and he will give you rest.. I am thankful that I have a fater and king so wonderful..

I felt really down when one of my tests failed.. I wanted to see if friends were more important than I was.. Turns out to be! But I don't blame it on anyone.. Maybe it's just a long catch up? Then again.. Am I being to selfless?? Just like the one before?

I needed comfort and a little care and concern sprinkled with lots of love.. I didn't really get it.. In the end I feel dejected and lost.. Tonight is going to be a cold lonely night.. I'll pull it off.. It's dinner time now.. Just hope she could feel it.. If she knew.. I'd wish she'd just be there..

Bloggie blog blog

Penang trip was really great! I had so much fun and I kinda overspent on coffee.. Ahahahha! Hmmm.. I dnno what im gonna do but I think Airforce has given me a very comfortable life.. Without it.. I think my income crumble alr..
Got to save more!

Time spent with her flies so fast.. And I don't know why I'm afraid of people finding out.. Am I afraid of the past? I know she's such an awesome person.. I should trust that idiot more.. I ate pasta until sooo full! Tmr buy ice cream back and maybe a nice cocktail? Hahaha! Can't wait for fridaaayyyy!
Work hard! Pass AGC!! Lets fly!!

Trust in the trust that you've yet to trust

I can't say how distracted I was about the project I had but I really had.. Zero studying.. Ahahah! Mental flu every morning.. Zone out.. Msg her.. Go home

After reaching home we so happen to meet and I really had a great time with her.. We did things and talked about some things.. I'm still able to read her and she is just so nice to accommodate to me.. Worrying about me.. Caring for me and even remembering things that she told me that might hurt me.. Though we speak differently, our minds are like joint.. She doesn't have to say things. I already know :)

Hope it goes well.. Take all the time you need.. I'll be waiting for your answer!

That mini heart attack

Today was a quite a productive day.. I've got to stay longer at the library.. Hahah. I've got much to do there now.. Studies quite abit.. Tmr I shall have a crack at departure and rejoining circuits.. 8components.. I can do it..

After work somehow managed to catch liying and she caught up with Jackie.. At the point of time. I didn't know what to feel and got very confused.. I felt like I was pushing her away.. But.. I didn't like it.. At all.. After Jackie left.. I began to think about some answers and my actions.. I didn't feel proud of it.. I wanted to apologize.. But it was way too awkward.. She wore something I like.. But my uniform.. Last warning..

I'm now thinking of that outcomes of staying friends.. Friendzone- Friday.. I wanna tell her.. But I don't wanna bug her about my worry wuss.. I gotto let go of it.. I trust her.. I have faith in her.. Time to let go..

Kueh

Today I had a NE Tour which wasn't so bad.. Just I was reaally really tired.. But things changed when she called during lunch.. So happy to hear her voice :)

We ended a lil early so I tot of surprising her at nuh.. Bought some kueh for her and went to the playground to share it.. She's really a very unique girl.. So simple and someone that I'll be willing to share everything with. After finishing we say there and I really just enjoyed her company and the contact we had..

Hope she liked it ;)