Bummer

I realized the only thing I have physically with me when I'm down is my guitar.. Just her melodies can drown sorrow or turn anger into happiness!

Just came back from a buffet smelling like a xiao long bao! Pretty awesome dinner we had :) missed everyone.. Too bad we can't have as much fun as we did before.. After sending everyone home I guess things went a little down hill..

I find that I'm selfish.. I want to do things however I do it while considering others feelings and I don't push it across forcefully and make it sound like the other persons choice.. I am very vexed.. Messed up and now pretty much broken.. One side she's really caring for my feelings. Another side she doesn't want to take pictures with me.. I cannot understand.. Must I put It across as bright as day? I need answers.. I'll worry for everything.. Time hasn't really been on my side.. I hate going to bed feeling like this.. I'll just bury my head in my pillow.. Tears are for the weak.. I've been through tougher times.. Uhhh sergeant!!!

These few weeks has been an emotional roller coaster.. I feel now I should have never developed any feelings.. I might regret it.. I don't want anything anymore.. I just want to hear her voice and see her smile.. Even to the expense of my own happiness.. Is this really what love is? Is it? Is it?!


Lord I come to you, let my heart be changed renewed..