I don't trust anyone so easily anymore

I find that I have deceived myself.. What I'm actually doing.. I'm not sure anymore.. I have to go back.. I've ventured far enough.. I need to walk back and examine myself. What has made me this way? That I have so much worry and distrust in others..
I suddenly realized why I keep only small groups of friends close to me, that's because I lost trust in the world.. And I am feeling devastated..

She doesn't know but I guess it's for the better? To leave silently.. But I guess I never will be able to.. I'm to soft.. She doesn't know or catch hints I throw at her.. But it's alright.. She still tries her best.. I don't think she'll be hurt cuz it's insignificant.. I am..

I have had a pretty wandering day.. I don't know what held me.. But I know where to go.. My lord, my king, my friend my father ;)

Halptch me pleat.. Hahahah! Thank you for everything God.. Tmr is in your hands..

I was still thinking of all the places I wanted to bring her.. It cuts me deep..
HSBC treetop walk
Xiao long bao buffet
Swee chun Dim sum
Swimming lessons
Overseas trips
Running at parks

All these seems like a lost letter now.. I have nothing but tears when I run back to you