Coming out of hiding

Hey dear.. I really miss you.. When I look at my phone I'm always hoping to find you online and there's a message from you.. I'm waiting for you now.. Gona hit midnight soon.. And I'm texting you slower so you have more time with your friends :)

I wonder how things have been for you.. I'm not as close as we used to be.. I wish that we could've had more time to bond instead I'm studying my ass off to become a pilot.. Hope you're having fun.. At the same time.. I hope you're missing me as much as I am.. And that you'll always be there for me.. Just as I am :)

Ily

Weaknesses

I lack in strength.. Confidence.. Assurance.. Encouragement.. Security and fighting spirit.

When I am taking this path.. I am soo afraid of failure.. So afraid of difficulties.. I need to have the spirit to fight on.. The will to take on te challenges I have to face.. Things that I want will never be easy to get..

I've been too broken.. Shattered and torn that I have nothing to give.. But a tattered heart.. I'm not just giving it to anyone.. I'm giving it to someone who can help me fix it.. With care and lots of love.. It will take alot of time.. Alot if trust.. I'm afraid it'll be torn again so sometimes I pull it back.. I retract it from her.. I'm sorry..

I guess the only thing I can do now is to have the spirit to press on.. To depend on my own strength.. Fix everything and carry on everyday like its normal.. That way.. She'll be happy.. I'll be less caring towards here. Cold even.. But that's the only way I can figure out

Time

I've finally the time to just relax and pen down my feelings.. It's really great out here.. Just that I miss home.. I learned not to put your hopes soo high on someone.. Because its really easy to get disappointed.. When you don't get what you expect.. Things turn out badly.. God says to those who a weary to come to him and he will give you rest.. I am thankful that I have a fater and king so wonderful..

I felt really down when one of my tests failed.. I wanted to see if friends were more important than I was.. Turns out to be! But I don't blame it on anyone.. Maybe it's just a long catch up? Then again.. Am I being to selfless?? Just like the one before?

I needed comfort and a little care and concern sprinkled with lots of love.. I didn't really get it.. In the end I feel dejected and lost.. Tonight is going to be a cold lonely night.. I'll pull it off.. It's dinner time now.. Just hope she could feel it.. If she knew.. I'd wish she'd just be there..