counting down..

well.. another few more days and i'll face manhood...

i really dun wana turn 18.. im not ready for it... so i really wanna cherish these momments that i have as a youth.. actually im more worried abt whats gonna come after my birthday.. sighh... 20more days till wee wees.. from mine.. lol

i havent really thought abt my resolution this year.. but i really want to study hard.. do well and get a scholarship.. i seriously think if i put in effort i can do it.. now my lifes all in shards.. bits and pieces here and there... sighhh.. i guess the largest piece was taken and lost cuz of some kid... and the rest are just fumbles.. i really dun wanna screw my life.. i feel that i have a need to provide for my family... i wanna start bonding maybe start with talking really nice with my parents and sibs... go home early and set example to my sibblings... i guess they look to me as the oldest actually.. cuz i mature faster :D no la.. hahah

wishing for..

something that can keep me warm..
a lunchbox to put my sandwiches and food :)
better instruments
new skates
lots and lots of love
i hope i can just die... and go to heaven..


talking to camerine now.. and downloading maple.. ya.. MAPLE PPL!! hahaha!

don't think can celebrate this year... :( soooo gonna SUCK!!!


oh wells.. i was taking a nap and i dreamt that nicholas went with me to buy me a PIANO!! hahaha! in the end we got into trouble with people and started fighting... omg la.. ahhah.

oh wells.. gonna do the set up then go back t bed.. nighty night!

I Miss those times with you

Hello~
Feeling so dead tired now.. lets see.. Friday went to school as usual.. only had lunch with JH dick and wee.. sadly the others had MORE IMPORTANT things to do than eat lunch with friends… wadever… so after school I played castle age and pokemon with JH.. :D hahah! then jjh left and I down there talk and playing with Dickson.. went to safari zone and used a hack dick tot us a few times ago :D im gonna be a pokemon masterrr … lol.. pfftt.. wadeverrr uhh..


After that I went to CWP to look for Nicholas.. talked a lot and played a lot.. hahah/ juniors commented once we two together will havoc.. and I totally agree… ahhahah :D went for prayer meeting.. which was awesome.. learnt abt leaders… the people were crossing the Jordan river and the priest (leaders) went in first even when they had never done before (showing faith trust, prayer to God) then they held the ark of covenant until 700k ppl crossed.. like… wth?! Super strong.. and they only left when they all crossed.. (finishing what they started edurance determination) whats so interesting u may ask.. when the priest walked across, the water piled up on the sides.. have u seen b ruce almight? Ya.. except with a river instead with tomato soup.. coooooll.. went home and slept…


Woke up at 530.. went to meet Nicholas and went school.. met Regina on the bus.. didn’t say anything.. went for parade.. Had a BALL of a time with the boys.. from fancy drill to rubbish talk with them.. mass games was great :D LDC pain ball.. lol!~ super funnn.. then went for primers meeting and lesson… thank you my lil AQ kids for getting me lunch :DDDD ur CLT appreciates your effort and kindness :D love u guys! Haha.. went to take Fabians helmets cuz he needed em for a race so I helped my junior take then went to track.. saw them running so I threw my bag and ran with them.. Nicholas just sat under a tree.. wth.. then farris sec 1 comment I was like ‘hacking’ I ran reeaaally fast.. hahahah.. zoomed past them like… wooosh~ hahahah… then Melvin and nick oso comment that from where they were I just looked like this piece of stick extending my legs.. LOL! Hahaha.. then after that we went to run 3.2.. nick and nix went cycling training.. came back super tired.. 17mins.. omg.. so long.. but waited for Melvin.. sigh.. then went back my feet were on fire.. so I put water.. tehn saw steven injured.. so I quickly tended to his wounds… helped clogged and sterilize it.. then we split 2 groups 1 go gym 1 go Frisbee training.. so… I LOVE MY TEAM! WOOOO!! FABIAN EZRA BEN LOUIS! WOOOO!! Imba team of 4.. ownage!! Hahahahah! Then we went gym.. omg… I cracked… wooot.. 2 reps of arm extensions.. 2 sets of leg raise 2 sets leg extension, bicept curl, tricepts, 2sets bench press!! WOOO!!! My bench press improve from 120lbs to 150!! WOOO!! Damn happy :D cheongman was like.. Louis.. 120?? Cannot be… I help u adjust abit.. so I was like.. okay la.. 10more.. so 130.. but he put 150 and I still can do proper sets :DDD YESS!!! Then did partner squats.. carried cheong man.. 60reps.. wooo~ shiokness.. immediate high after that.. then we debriefed and prayed.. 11AQ~~!!!! :DD went to cwp.. too bad cheongman had his gf.. went to eat a bowl of beef noodles and a bowl of rice.. super hungry la.. hahaha..


After dinner, me and nick went to buy stuff @ value dollar.. then we decided to go visit our lil kids who had to sleep @ smebawang park to complete their adventure 3 badge.. so we bought water and cookies for em and went down.. had a lot of fun lA!!! Hahah! they powder bath and I laughed my friggin ass off.. hahhaha… then Joshua sir came.. we sat down and talk then wei xun saw a shooting star.. so I was like.. WOOOOTT!!! And I laid down then Joshua sir and nick came beside me and the rest of our kids on groundsheets. Then we just laid there talking and laughing and being ourselves. Hhahaha till abt 1030… then nick say go alrd.. tmrw got church.. so we went to bustop and wait..then got china.. then we kept making fun of em.. hahahah.. like… when they said an English word we would like.. WHOWW!! ONE WORD!! WAHAHAHAHH!! Went home showered had bananas to heal my pains… omg… and now going to watch the bloopers and eat oreo :D night~~~!!!

the stars in sembawang Park on that clear nigght sky was.... breathtaking... ;( but i felt sad yet happy.. why.........

zzz

Anneyeong~

today i felt really sick.. got fever.. felt horrible.. woke up abt 11.30 when wee called.. then went back to bed.. woke up abt 3 then went to cut hair with nicholas and now playing pokemon.. ytd was more interestig..




Slept pretty late.. was talking to CSM.. hahah.. we were talking abt xia yi zhan xing fu.. and hai pai tian xin.. she was saying how she cried and all.. couldn’t believe.. LOL!! But me myself got tear.. kns.. soo cool.. spent another fun time talking to her.. oh wells..



I still do not acknowledge I have a babyface.. but it does cheer me up even though the denial.. today’s lab was awesome.. totally loved it and enjoyed my time.. don’t think I got time… 11:11 making a wish… oh anyway.. today had to go off to a meeting.. but halfway it got cancelled.. so lit wen say meet up at 3.. but he didn’t turn up… so we got pretty depressed.. left me and nick. But we die die oso must go.. so we went to sakae abt 6.30.. we walked around cwp and laughed and did a lot stupid thing at popular.. hahaha.. really funny.. we were reading like shakespear jargons and it was hilarious… walked to RP and back.. saw regina and walk away.. I dunno why she’s still texting me… she’s the first person I know that after smth happens she will still text me.. 1st person.. went to cold storage a few times in hopes of finding CSM but no avail…



Called warren to come to sakae.. and we had our dinner… we ate soft shell crabs.. followed by sushi from the belt, lobster and salmon orders and some ikan billis sushi. Which Nicholas claimed it was salmon skin.. tase like ikan.. lol! Then we had chowanmushi and pea.. Nicholas atae one then put back on the belt! WTH!?! AHHAHA!! Then had cold soba.. red plates some tempenyaki avocado and mango.. not bad.. then finish with moochi.. we ate a lot!! But say like very lil.. I had like 10 cups o tea.. lol.. sat down from 8-9 just looking at each other and listening to songs with nick.. hahaha.. then we walked home half then took bus.. I was sooo full…



Went to nicks place to pass him russel peters then discussed plans for Friday.. then I’m at home.. still thinking abt what happened.. I hope she’s hurt.. really.. although dun wish for it.. I just hope she knows what I’m going through.. playing my guitar.. going to shower and sleep~~ tmr physics.. team 4.. rmb! Okok! Nights :) HAI PAI TIAN XIN!!

spot the difference..

air bag :D

dropped my ear piece in wasabi... haha.. lucky is nick wanna listen song :D

mango and avacado :P

me me and me

why why why why WHY!

Hey all.. babyface is here again :D

Today math was confusing.. sucks. Went to eat pork for lunch and went for some CE talk after sch.. the only accomplishment is… I completed HAWX! YES!!! Tmr I try complete in elite mode.. wooo~ I hope I can improve.. thinking of what kinda aiviation module I should take.. thinking of asking Gideon.. hmm…

Oh well… went back with Dickson.. and during the talk that time.. we went to EAT!! HAHAHAH!!! Suppperrr funny… lololol!! Thanks Dickson for your concern about me :) Yvonne has been a greattt help too ! look at this!


Breakfast Cereal
Low GI
All-bran (UK/Aus) 30
All-bran (US) 50
Oat bran 50
Rolled Oats 51
Special K (UK/Aus) 54
Natural Muesli 40
Porridge 58


Medium GI
Bran Buds 58
Mini Wheats 58
Nutrigrain 66
Shredded Wheat 67
Porridge Oats 63
Special K (US) 69


High GI
Cornflakes 80
Sultana Bran 73
Branflakes 74
Coco Pops 77
Puffed Wheat 80
Oats in Honey Bake 77
Team 82
Total 76
Cheerios 74
Rice Krispies 82
Weetabix 74

Staples
Low GI
Wheat Pasta Shapes 54
New Potatoes 54
Meat Ravioli 39
Spaghetti 32
Tortellini (Cheese) 50
Egg Fettuccini 32
Brown Rice 50
Buckwheat 51
White long grain rice 50
Pearled Barley 22
Yam 35
Sweet Potatoes 48
Instant Noodles 47
Wheat tortilla 30


Medium GI
Basmati Rice 58
Couscous 61
Cornmeal 68
Taco Shells 68
Gnocchi 68
Canned Potatoes 61
Chinese (Rice) Vermicelli 58
Baked Potatoes 60
Wild Rice 57


High GI
Instant White Rice 87
Glutinous Rice 86
Short Grain White Rice 83
Tapioca 70
Fresh Mashed Potatoes 73
French Fries 75
Instant Mashed Potatoes 80

Bread
Low GI
Soya and Linseed 36
Wholegrain Pumpernickel 46
Heavy Mixed Grain 45
Whole Wheat 49
Sourdough Rye 48
Sourdough Wheat 54


Medium GI
Croissant 67
Hamburger bun 61
Pita, white 57
Wholemeal Rye 62


High GI
White 71
Bagel 72
French Baguette 95

Snacks & Sweet Foods
Low GI
Slim-Fast meal replacement 27
Snickers Bar (high fat) 41
Nut & Seed Muesli Bar 49
Sponge Cake 46
Nutella 33
Milk Chocolate 42
Hummus 6
Peanuts 13
Walnuts 15
Cashew Nuts 25
Nuts and Raisins 21
Jam 51
Corn Chips 42
Oatmeal Crackers 55


Medium GI
Ryvita 63
Digestives 59
Blueberry muffin 59
Honey 58


High GI
Pretzels 83
Water Crackers 78
Rice cakes 87
Puffed Crispbread 81
Donuts 76
Scones 92
Maple flavoured syrup 68


Legumes (Beans)
Low GI
Kidney Beans (canned) 52
Butter Beans 36
Chick Peas 42
Haricot/Navy Beans 31
Lentils, Red 21
Lentils, Green 30
Pinto Beans 45
Blackeyed Beans 50
Yellow Split Peas 32


Medium GI
Beans in Tomato Sauce 56
Vegetables
Low GI
Frozen Green Peas 39
Frozen Sweet Corn 47
Raw Carrots 16
Boiled Carrots 41
Eggplant/Aubergine 15
Broccoli 10
Cauliflower 15
Cabbage 10
Mushrooms 10
Tomatoes 15
Chillies 10
Lettuce 10
Green Beans 15
Red Peppers 10
Onions 10


Medium GI
Beetroot 64


High GI
Pumkin 75
Parsnips 97
Fruits'

Low GI
Cherries 22
Plums 24
Grapefruit 25
Peaches 28
Peach, canned in natural juice 30
Apples 34
Pears 41
Dried Apricots 32
Grapes 43
Coconut 45
Coconut Milk 41
Kiwi Fruit 47
Oranges 40
Strawberries 40
Prunes 29


Medium GI
Mango 60
Sultanas 56
Bananas 58
Raisins 64
Papaya 60
Figs 61
Pineapple 66


High GI
Watermelon 80
Dates 103
Dairy

Low GI
Whole milk 31
Skimmed milk 32
Chocolate milk 42
Sweetened yoghurt 33
Artificially Sweetened Yoghurt 23
Custard 35
Soy Milk 44


Medium GI
Icecream 62



NOTE: XIAN WEE... i know u care for me.. but please stop tempting me and bring me to macdonalds pls?



So im thinking I should really follow up and eat well.. tmr going buffet with platoon.. considering going school.. sianness..
I still cant forget her.. not one day since that incident have I forgotten about her or stopped loving her.. today It poured heavily.. hope dick didn’t get drench and his miracle came true… while walking back I was concerned about her.. why… why can’t I forget her..

Hai pai tian xin really… if not for her, I dun think I would cry.. cuz it reminds me.. sighhh.. squirm your eyes all you want.. purposely wan… tata~~

love saturdays..

Hello guys.. just to clarify things.. im not BLACK!!! I’m tanned… it was a friggin disease… seriously… I wasn’t black from birth.. it was the things I did…

Well.. today was really fun :) slept abt 3am… woke up about 620.. then went to nicholas’s and went for parade.. it was super fun.. had a skit on the parable the good Samaritan then we had games and skipped platoons~! With a huge rope.. until I got blister on my finger.. :( so painful… then we had this really interesting catching game la.. hahah team 1 won!! YES AH!! then we headed to classrooms where there were different tasks to do.. nicholas’s was lift a person with a few ppl using 2 fingers each.. mind was mad scientist.. suppose to make marshellow structures out of only with communication.. but failed.. so we improvised and played charades :D then the last was to pour water from a cup using only twine.. lols… suppperrr tired now… after parade I rushed to vista to buy lunch for my AQ boys.. havoc… 19packs..omg.. then rushed back.. for AQ!

We had sport training of basketball ans soccer followed by a 3.2km timed run.. and gym.. I had to leave after running cuz I had to go church.. so I went to shower and the feeling was GOOOD.. went to yishun to meet Nicholas then strode over to church.. legs damn pain.. sad.. went ot BK to eat and DG was really great.. I found that what ching kit had experience was actually a calling to me…

What ching kit said was.. he lost a patient and he was experiencing bad times… his week was crappy.. he could not priortise his work from family to his gf.. but he still sacrificed for US! How can someone be so selfless… I cant.. after all the hurt.. I’m just not able to pull it off anymore.. when I put others before me, I feel trampled and crushed.. super tired.. so God told him.. do you trust me? have I been good to you? Like dohh.. but from there I dunno wat to do.. things has been rough.. its been 10days since that time… I still cant let go.. when I look at it.. I just crumble.. I just dun show it cuz I am really super soft inside… Nicholas would know… how I wish he could talk to me now.. but he have to sleep.. so im emptying all ny hearts contents here… please do not read anymore.. I just need something to pour out on.. God? Will u listen to my words? Ching kit said we had to understsand god’s plans for us and make effort t to know what he wants us to do in life and what is our purpose.. if he laid it out simple and clear for me, I would follow… BUT!!! IM GIVEN FREE WIILLL!! I DUN WANT IT!!! I just want to follow your plans.. I really give up… im facing so much crap now…

Firstly I had the incident where I was so close to being nullified.. secondly I was broken.. thirdly… I just cannot ttrust… I cannot forget.. im struggling now.. someone throw me a life bouy.. u know what sucsk the most? After knowing all these bad things.. he HAD to let CSM talk to me… I felt so happy and I laughed so much… I felt special and for someone that I crushed on sudden talk to me so friendly its really ughhh… what’s going on… I just dunno what to do… I dunno if I should reply this text msg… firstly.. I do know want to be broken and making me feel better really isn’t helping… I dun wanna be friends.. I cant understand it at all… what exactly do I want.. but its still my NATURE! BECAUSE ITS HER!!! , I cannot bear to leave her hanging like that.. after all that… ppl apologized to me.. felt like crying.. uhh.. really.. I am juswhen i looked at her standing in the canteen looking at me ( im not sure whether.. my heart went out to hers..aaahhhh!!!!!! WHYWHYWH!!!!!! WHY!!!

Hope tmr will be a great day.. the BB vesper has always brought me comfort and I just love the song…

Great God who knowest all our needs, bless thou our watch and guard our sleep

Forgive our sins of thoughts and deeds, and in thy peace thy servant keep
We thank thee for the day that’s done, we trust thee for the days to be..
Thy love we learn in Christ thy son, oh may we all his glory see…
Amen..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS AHMAH!!!

thanks for bringing that fat hairy gorrila up :D


12:12am

BLAZE

they say it takes the same time you loved a person the same time to forget the person.. its gonna be tough... i'm just not letting go.. ppl see the strong outside but i'm trying my best to conceal what is inside of me..

Lulu the babyface is here ;)

today i went to do chem.. dammit.. so friggin hard sia... but still.. we did it ;D

lunch was  awesome! love the ban mian.. poor JH no more money.. i lent him 2 dollars.. scareed he starve to death.. dude.. dun worry.. just ask and u shall recieve man :DDD brothers are always here for u.. just come down eat lunch with us and fellowship can alrd :D ( dun become like some inconsistent people) i got raped by sam and wee in public.. they were stripping me from the walk up to bottom.. gosh.. felt so violated and so uneasy.. ppl kept lookng.. but after awhile i didn't give damn... cuz they cared :D and that was what made me glad today... thanks so much u 2 brainded twerps ;)

after school watched hai pai tian xin with JH.. omg.. soooo touching.. cant believe i cried... ep 10 part 8.. i actually wept.. i felt envious... if only someone would be as devoted... ;(


after that walked sis to take bus.. then waited for fabian and Mr cheong.. we cabbed down to HQ tgt for some meeting for the new AQ.. goshh.. met cheongmans' gf.. woooo~~ sweeeeetttt.. but.. i have my own opinions la.. hah! way to go cheongman! i heard him on the phone.. he was like hello dear? and i was like.. WHAT?! my heart skipped.. WOOO~! felt ecstatic for mr cheong la... :) xian wee has just signed in~ LOL

we kinda abbaondoned them halfwey thru dinner let them tmm.. LOL! then go briefing.. walao.. some officers... seriously.. if i wasn't a PRIMER... i would make them eat my shit... uhhh... i know this is really anal... but those buttwipes keep asking stupid question.. and they think they damn smaarrt.. cannot take it.. cabbed back with cheongman and fabian.. went to the coffee shop his place there and discussed the AQ plans.. was pretty good... and i hope we can follow through.. got paintball, kayaking, mountain biking,basketball, soccer, badminton, chatek, frisbee,golf and a whole lot more.. got 17 la.. :D cant wait.. wooo~

got parade tmr... so gotto sleep early... night night alll~~

HAI PAI TIAN XIN

Hello~ babyface is here once again :)


Today I went to sch and did physics for like… 2hours? By 10 we finish everything and started on ppt.. then sis called so I sent her home.. due to some women probs.. went home.. slept but I was constantly bugged so my nap was horrible.. woke up and had lunch then started watching hai pai tian xin.. omg la… ep 10 part 8.. I teared lor… it sounds wussie.. but still… its SOOOOOUUUUPPPERRR TOUCHING!!



After that I watched till 12 I dunno how.. lol.. but still.. I loved it.. cant wait for ep 12 and 13… :(





JUST HUG HER AND SAY I LOVE YOU!!! Omg.. if I were in the guys shoes.. I’d run away too.. but I’ll turn back and hug her… just cant leave like that what.. ;(((



Ohw well… im gonna stop watching till ep 12 and 13 come out if not I will die of anticipation.. lols.. I hope there are other nice funny and lovey dovey shows :)






UBER BORED AT HOME

after watching i got depressed and made this to liberate?

ANT MASSACRE

Babyface is here :O

This few days has been rough.. but thanks to a new Drama hai pai tian xin I got back my happiness and jollyhood.. of theres sucha word.. I think I term it as… luluistic :) which means getting back up and being happy.. heres how to use it.. after a long quarrel with my boss.. my friends brought me out for a great party making me luluistic.. HAHHAHA! Sorry.. im just so crappy.. donno what im gonna do.. OH YES!

BE WARNED!! DISGUSTING GROSS CONTENT!!!

Upon arrival at my house, I sat down readying to start a new episode of my drama.. I put down my lappy and saw an ant crawling. Its like a termite.. but.. minier… so I squashed it.. then I saw another.. so I squashed it too.. then I saw 3 more! And I got pissed of and armed myself with this book and started smacking them.. to my horror, they were crawling all over by display shelves. I moved it abit and lo and behold came out a friggin army of them… ohh freak.. I write oso can feel them all over my body…eeee.. so I squashed ands wahacked.. I felt them crawling all over me.. like even when one hair twitched I get all annoyed… so I asked my mom to buy bygone on her way back cuz I knew from what I saw, its not gonna be nice.. so I whipped out my new bygone and a detol sanitiser spray and ask sis for help.. I lifted the thing with my muscle and HOLY MACKERAL! WOOOOOOSSHHHHH!!!! Cannot explain.. then my sis say cannot press so I faster smash them with the shelves and quickly broke the safety mechanism and lifted the thing again.. this time nt as easy alrd.. then omg.. u gotto see.. it was like genocide of the jews… but smaller… there were this lil white things.. its they larvae and pupae.. omg.. disgusting! HOW THE HECK THE END UP THERE?!?! I go for 1 WEEK CAMP and they are there?! WOOOT?!! So we massacred them and wiped them off.. I kinda redecorated my room.. so it looks classier :D

See to believe people… no shit…

omg.. just look at that behind the shelves... dun worry.. i smashed most of them under and sis sprayed em'

wasted pick.. :(((((

LOOK AT THAT! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i dun see whats so funny.. seiously.. omg.. see the shelve? i lifted it like that.. far left..

clumped...shit... AAAAUUUGGHHHH

BLLAAUUUGGHHHH (hibbie jibbies)

look AT THAT!! awwww SHITT!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBWWWFFVWWZZZ!!! note*shiny cause by bygone.. white.. larvae... BLAUUGHH

look at that!! they're building SOMETHING! the brown shit.. omg..

ahh.. much bettter.. packed and clean :D thanks sis for da boxes :D

East to West

just came back from camp..

had alot of fun and learnt alot of things.. really tired now.. i've been feverish ever since that day.. it sucks..
can't wait for this saturday.. Nicholas is finally coming in as a PRIMER.. lol..

hope i bounce back soon....

Should i let go?

Hope your day was okay.. mine was.. half good…

I enjoyed my bio lesson today.. I really worked hard to understand today’s bio.. managed to grasp abit.. today my teammates all slacking.. make me feel shitty.. :( but they’re good people.. I enjoyed lunch.. it was funny talking to Dickson and having that gradual laughter about samanthas’ fartinng.. -.- whhuuatt theee heck! Actually dicksons laugh oso very funny.. enjoyed my 3rd meeting playing charades, pictionary and presentations.. 15:15 was when it got really crappy.. after that went to stay in class and for some reason I still could talk to Nicholas despite the connection loss.. anyhoo.. he knew before I didn’t even say a THING.. omg.. next time I need to ask Nicholas.. he said he alrd knew.. damn bro.. u shud’ve told me earlier.. tried to drown my sorrow watch russel peters.. but.. not too good.. went to castle war with dick and jh.. then we went to the 2nd floor play.. nothing wan lor.. -.- then I walked home.. no mood to study math.. u know what.. screw math..

I remember what you wore on the first day
you came into my life
and i thought hey
You know this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everythings okay
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you
'Cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life
And I've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Two is better than one.












I don’t know if it is me.. that I’m not good looking.. or I’m not attractive enough.. maybe im over tanned.. im too thin.. my face sucks.. I just seem horrible at relationships.. I tried so hard.. I went all out to find a birthday present used all my time and effort to do things for her. Sacrificed a lot for her and I gave all the love I had. Despite all my effort.. I get dejected and little effort from her as well as a sense that shes taking everything for granted. Platoonmates told me to dump her.. I defended her and people to said the same thing.. but I was too stubborn.. I just cared too much for her despite her treating me like some ‘thing’ I feel horrible.. dejected, neglected, condemned, used, totally sapped from any energy.. I do not understand.. maybe I’m cursed… I have this curse which is loyalty.. no matter the grimness or fking shitty things get I still will stay by their side, love and care for them.. I just feel like a trampled piece of linen which had been used, manipulated, chewed, scorned, burted, spat out and shriveled.. what happens happens.. I just feel why do I still care for her despite her treating me like some piece of shit.. she doesn’t make any effort whatsoever.. she cares about her anime and games more than talk to me… but still.. nvm.. I dun think I should defend her anymore.. screw this..

counting cars.. buses and motorbikes just aint assuring

Uhhh.. finnaly my phone is okay.. had to reformat the memory card.. zzzz…

Oh wel.. I’m gonna put my faith in God now.. so far we haven’t talked since Monday… feels shitty..

Ytd went out with dick wee and Irene.. we went to macs t eat and then went to popular.. damn.. ic ant believe I cant read a 1year old book… crap… zzzzzzzzzzz.. then wee wee went to see phones.. and I saw sheena ans csm at m1 or smth beside macs the basement one.. omg la.. hahahah.. I did not want to go in.. then like cuz of that crazy girl that keep calling me black.. ytd high because of Jerome I think.. so went in then faster come out… some girl ask to borrow my phone to call her friend.. and she doesn’t know where BK is… hmmmm.. wonder how she got in… so finally we went off.. I didn’t have the guts to say hi.. and I didn’t want to disturb her later her boss scold or smth.. anyhoooo.. we went home and I went to do my rj evals and went to bed… :D

having that tingly feeling again..

Mixed up blender of feelings

Hello guys!

Woke up abt 8 today… my alarm failed.. I didn’t even hear shit… omg.. so I went to nick’s place and went to church.. on the bus there was some commotion at chong pang cuz a woman.. not lady.. tap her card but while walking to her seat she prolly tapped it again to save money.. but while on the trip got the ppl come up to check.. so she was caught and was fined 20dollars but she said hse dun have money.. so the person ask for her IC and she gave her IC and just walked out.. omg la.. then the daughters went to get it back… responsible kids.. wa lao.. some mom.. geez…

Went to listen in on their band prac and did some math… then went to service played around with Nixon then we went off to lunch.. ate rice and Ching Kit got drinks for us.. went to jam after that.. I was too tired so I just slept… ahahhaha! Then we left and I went home.. and sleep.. until 9.. hahahha… well.. now playing arnd with some facebook games.. things are going through my mind… the insecurity is just… uhhh… sometimes I feel really attached? And sometimes I just want to break away from it so I won’t be hurt.. but if I dun put in the effort it would just end…

TMRW SCHOOL AND UT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Can get to see my peops once again ;D lunch !

cheating ppl..

monopoly :D

LOL

yo.. fk u

yum...

:D

ham and turkey rolls

new creation ;D from cheese to ham to lettuce

lit wen's french toast

nicholas crispy noodles

u can tell ffrom the face

wens' tomato chicken

ablaone baked spag

baked spag

baked rice

black and a hairy

yo.. wtf

wasabi icecream

our jap meal

fat woman :D

bunch of perverts

Now im really confused.. I’m doubting that her prepaid is low.. maybe she just doesn’t want to talk to me and neither does she want to break up with me due to some of her reasons or pride… so I cant really figure… feeling horrible… if she still tells me she really loves me I’ll definitely put in the effort and whatever it takes.. even my platoon mates say otherwise and stuff abt breakup.. I agree but my heart doesn’t… dilemma.. :( I just need some comfort from her or at least if she shows some concern then it’ll be better? Oh wells…

Imma back

Im back form my delirious trippp with my platoon people.. it was totally fricckin awesome!!! Hahahah! Well.. your know they came and ton at my place we played cards watch russel peters and got snacks at night and watched till like… 5-6am? Then they all went to sleep and I went to the living room.. wanted some time to reflect… so I slept on my lappy on 1st jan.. we shouted like happy new year!!! AHHAHA! Sooo cooolios… anyhooos… we woke up and cooked 20 hotdogs for breakfast.. bought bread and milk to eat… then called Nicholas to come over for breakfast cuz his dad dun allow him stay.. what a waste… zzzz.. so off we went to meet Jackie at cwp..

Met Jackie at cwp then went down to m’sia.. went to shop here and there and ate at char chant eng :D met Felicia.. but didn’t say hi.. cuz she was with Elvin.. lols.. so we ate our regular crap :D and was super funny as we talked and played with jon’s ice.. hahahaha! He was like I bless you in the name of the father, the son. Still the son. And the son and the holy and the spirit.. HAHAH! Nicholas pissed off the take and pour on him! HILARIOUS!!! Then we went to jusco! Where Irene brought us once :D then we kinda spent our whole time looking for stuff and bought beer.. a lot of it.. ate fish and co.. which wasn’t to fantastic.. got some green tea ice cream.. warren’s set always last.. then they kinda pissed cuz no drinks served and they kept tending to others since we came first, we should have priority.. but still I know how they feel.. it was a horrible 1st time… saddedd.. so we left with our alchohol and went to lit wens place.. since 6ppl need 2 cabs.. so we took separate.. me nick and warren jon Jackie and lit wen tgt.. so we supposed to follow.. but the guy suddenly rushed off himself.. scared the living shit out of us.. he could just bring us to some hideout and do evil things there.. so I looked at nicholas.. and we instantly knew what we had to do.. I kinda charades our thoughts.. it was hilarious.. but still tense.. but we safetly got to his MANSION!! WOOOOO!! Totally out of this world.. damn.. then we like had no key? LOLS lit wen wanted to set the car alarm wake his dad up.. but his bro like saved the day.. LOL!

Went up started playing monopoly through the whole night… (cards) then we played poker, pickup 52! :DDD HAHAHAHAH! Then bridge dai di.. and a lot a lot more.. super funn.. then abt 2 we took out the beer and it was awfull.. soooo friggin bitter.. cannot take it.. finish one whole bottle each person.. then we took out white wine… whoa… zzzz even worse… then we like passed the bottle arnd once it reach u say smth of ex[erience or pour out to our bros then drink it up.. so went on for awhile.. then we played cards.. 1-5 left person drink 6-10 right jack queen king is you drink then ace is u sabo.. sooooo… being the most…. Goodie… can say goodie la.. I kenna all the aces… wahh.. felt soooo sick.. like wanted to PUKE! So we finished with another game called fives.. we played then if kenna left person drink.. hhaha! I drunk like… ahgghhh… then did 22 push ups.. cuz Jackie challenge me.. LOL!

Laid there then Nicholas laid on the sofa the we started wrestling… then end up he lie over me.. then we talked abt stuff… I told them abt my troubles… and they too feel somewhat like how other’s perceive.. but I told them I love her luh.. that’s all.. we sharred… jon shared… then suddenly Nicholas ask me if I could walk in a straight line.. cuz from black become purple.. LOL! So I walked to the toilet cuz I needed to pee.. then while peeing, I felt light headed. Everything was blur.. I couldn’t feel my head… then Jackie came and shouted EH! I oso need pee leh! And punched my back.. then I told him ;: JACKIE!! I need to faint alrd! So I faster slumped out and tanked my way like a wounded soldier and threw my self on the sofa and laid there… I called Nicholas.. : BANG! I feel like fainting…. I’m going to black out… then my eyes closed… I couldn’t even hear the laughter and noise or myself talking.. I just knew subconscouisly I was calling Nicholas.. the next thing I new was this huge arms around my and carried me to the toilet… I sat there.. lit wen carried me there and Nicholas supported me.. I sat there and warren got me a plastic bag.. and wen went to fetch some warm water.. after I sat down totally okay.. then nick say I 1st time drink so much then suddenly jump up the blood in my head will lose very fast… soo makes sense…charged upstairs and Nicholas was like.. LOUIS! DON”T LATER U WILL FEEL DIZZY! But it was too late… I fell on the sofa upstairs.. then I felt like a sack of potatoes… Nicholas dragged me to the room and gave me a pillow.. last thing I rmb was… hey bang.. can u move over a bit.. then ZZZZZZZZZ….


Next morning.. woke up cuz jon was smashing the drums… -.- went to shower.. then played piano and drums.. then we head out to CS.. wen’s bro sent us over.. and me nick and warren sat at the back of the pickup.. hahah ! so fun.. we were like looking at the car plates and is was JKB 8921 so we were jonathan kiss balls… then keep making a lot as we went.. HAHAHHA! Went to cs.. ate at sushi place :D nicenice… then went to shop with nick while the others watch some fashion show.. then we left to nick’s place to go church.. then DG.. dinner.. band practice and supper… :D now going to sleeppp.. BYEBYE!

11:55
Still not going to talk.. dun think she cares… but still.. shes’ 14.. I hope I can nurture her… ;(

Going to wake up and accompany the overgrown ape to church to prac :D nIgHT!

Upload pics some other time ;)